If you buy a car from a man, you pay for it, and you receive it, and then he comes and takes it away from you, you would call that person a thief.

What if someone gives you their wedding vows, and upon receiving their vows, you give them your vows, you buy a home with them, buy other items including cars and housewares, and you have children with that person, then suddenly that person decides to end the marriage, take the children, take the house and the shared resources and put you on the hook to pay money in the name of child support and spousal support. Not only is that person a thief, but the government that supports that person is also a thief.

There will never be repentance without restitution.  What we steal, we must return.  If someone dies, we must return what was stolen to those who would have received it upon death if possible, and if this is not possible, we must be honest about how much we can do and then do as much as is truly possible.  We cannot just walk on and pretend we’re forgiven as though nothing has happened.

Help them remove the bitterness from their heart and help give them reason to know that you have taken responsibility for your theft and have come clean and have good intentions for their well being.  They may have every reason to distrust you for awhile and you need to allow them the freedom to do that.  For awhile, they may feel you are merely trying to win their confidence so you can so something worse to them, but if your heart is pure, in time, they will probably come around especially if they see enough evidence in your behavior that you have changed.  Don’t try to tell them. Don’t try to point out all the demonstrations of your new found integrity or they will have reason to think you are merely insulting their intelligence with a very stupid demonstration. Let them see for themselves and conclude for themselves in their own time that your heart has really changed and that you are not as concerned about their ability to see this as you are about guarding your integrity.

All of this applies especially to your spouse and to your children.  Betrayals close to home hurt the most and are the hardest to overcome.

But, the flip side of this is that some will take the guilt for a past offense and use it to enslave and manipulate you.  Don’t honor that. If you reward it, it will never go away. If you reward it, you reward theft, manipulation, and sin.  Don’t let false guilt and unforgiveness enslave you. Jesus Christ is your Lord, so let Him press you on to greater love and greater works.  Don’t be driven by guilt and fear.  They are cruel taskmasters and you cannot serve them and Christ at the same time. Christ has called us into freedom not so we can be free to sin but so we can be free from sin.

Commandment 8: Thou shalt not steal.  (Exodus 20:15)

Recommended Reading:

Lectures on Revival by Charles Finney

Memory Aid: Picture the numeral 8 as a cookie jar.